


Warm Embrace

by teadreams



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Conversations, Edward Cullen Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Human Bella Swan, Hurt/Comfort, Midnight Sun, POV Edward Cullen, POV First Person, Post-Breaking Dawn, Protective Bella Swan, References to Jane Austen, Romance, Snowball Fight, Vampire Bella Swan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:26:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26033407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teadreams/pseuds/teadreams
Summary: “I have never felt as safe as I do when you hold me so gently.”Bella’s immediate reaction was a little incredulous laugh. “A human who is a million times weaker than you? Makes you feel safe?”On one quiet afternoon, Edward and Bella discuss humanity, vampires, and morality."I don’t care if you are a breakable human or an unrestrained newborn. You always make me feel safe.”She softly tightened her arms around me, and my chest filled with warmth, my mind becoming fuzzy in contentment.When Bella accidentally injures Edward with her newborn vampire strength, he once again explains how Bella makes him feel.
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan
Comments: 7
Kudos: 83





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After reading Midnight Sun, I wished that Bella had been more fervent in her argument that vampires are not inherently evil. I also wanted to further explore her protective personality.
> 
> Constructive criticism is much appreciated!

I had let myself mold into her soft lap, my head resting against her thigh. Bella was sitting cross-legged on the floor of my room. She had propped three pillows behind her during our tv viewing and her shoulders slouched slightly in relaxed comfort. I could feel her folded legs against my back, her warmth seeping through her jeans. I was of course, holding myself up slightly so that she would only feel a light weight and my stone-like torso would not crush her. One of her hands was cradling my face, a hot brand against my cheek, while the other hands was gently carding through my reddish bronze hair. With each stroke of her wrist the sleeve of her blue and brown flannel shirt edged into my vision. I looked up at her wide face, her thick hair pulled back into a bun, and her adorable chin the most prominent feature at this angle. She was watching the _Sense and Sensibility_ adaption playing on the tv, but I was only watching her. I could not remember ever feeling safer or more at peace. Her warm human body cradled me like I was something precious. It filled my chest with such warmth that I almost felt human again, like I had a bursting fluttering heartbeat. I breathed in her scent, the scorching burn of it furthering the feeling of warmth, and I breathed out a sigh of pure contentment.  
  
It was then that Bella looked down at me and frowned sardonically. “Edward, you’re not watching! I thought you said this was your favorite Jane Austen adaption.” She was right, it had recently become my favorite. _Sense and Sensibility_ had also become one of my favorite books when I discovered it was one of her favorites. I enjoyed Elinor Dashwood so much more with the knowledge that Bella related to her character. Practicality, generosity, and selflessness were definitive traits that linked Bella and the fictional heroine, making me love both of them all the more. The mini-series that had aired this year had become my favorite once I had seen the actress playing Elinor Dashwood. Her large eyes and brown hair reminded me of Bella, though she was nowhere near as beautiful.  
  
“I’ve already seen it. And I’d much rather watch your reaction. Though to be honest, I was getting distracted.”  
  
“Is being this close to me uncomfortable?” Bella looked worried, taking on too much responsibility as always. I quickly spoke to assure her.  
  
“No, actually, I was distracted by how at peace I feel right now.” I paused for a moment looking up at her, unsure if I should continue. Bella was always so vulnerable and honest with me, why not share exactly how I felt? “I have never felt as safe as I do when you hold me so gently.”  
  
Bella’s immediate reaction was a little incredulous laugh. “A human who is a million times weaker than you? Makes you feel safe?”  
  
I felt now that I must explain everything because she didn’t seem to understand at all.  
  
“I feel protected by your humanity, your warmth….your goodness and kindness. If someone as good as you could deem me worthy of care and treat me with such gentleness, maybe I do deserve some mercy.”  
  
I turned my face into her palm, hiding slightly as I said the next part. “I thought at first that it was your extraordinary compassion that was allowing you to tolerate me. I have seen how lenient and forgiving you are with other people.” I thought about the teens in our high school. She encouraged and felt for those who were struggling, even people who were unpopular due to their own spiteful personalities. I thought about how Bella would never hold a grudge against Renee, even as neglectful as the woman had been over the years. I continued speaking into her palm.  
“I have seen your compassion for others, but I have also seen that you are repulsed by cruelty.” I remembered how she stood up for Eric Yorkie and avoided Jessica and Lauren after they belittled him. “You may feel compassion for a cruel person, but you would never treat them specially, you would merely tolerate them. But you do so _so_ much more than tolerate me.”  
I paused and added softly, just loud enough so that she could hear. “It makes me feel like less of a monster. Even if I cannot imagine what I have possibly done to deserve your embrace.”  
Bella looked down at me with pain in her eyes, only looking away briefly to pause the tv.  
  
“Edward, you deserve all of the compassion in the world. You have made mistakes, but you haven’t hurt anyone in years and you never hurt anyone who didn’t deserve it." I cringed internally at her use of the word _hurt_ instead of _killed._ "Your family all act like you are some sort of annoying self-control saint.” Bella smirked at this description, probably thinking about Rosalie or Jasper. “How can you believe that you are so evil when you have done nothing to deserve that label?”  
  
I looked up at her kind face and once again I could not understand how she could ignore the depth of my depravity. I sat up, leaving the warmth of her lap, falling away from that cradle of bliss.  
  
“It’s not about what I have done, though I am less forgiving of my vigilantism than you are. It is about what I think and what I desire. How can my kind not be considered inherently evil when our basic nature is to thirst for human blood? What could be viler than a being whose base instinct is murder?” I spoke these words without the usual vehemence that would accompany them. My voice was only filled with sorrow at the undeniable fact of my malevolence.  
  
Bella face was flush with outraged and she looked directly into my eyes. “We are defined by our actions not by our thoughts. Human thoughts are just as evil most of the time, you know that better than anyone! We are fallen too, we desire evil things, and so many give in and commit horrific crimes. The fact that you have resisted this temptation that is so much stronger than human temptation only makes you purer in my eyes. Edward, you are _good_.”  
  
She said the last words forcefully, as if willing me into believing them. I was so grateful for her acceptance that, like the coward I was, I didn’t push the conversation further. I just gently rested my face against her shoulder, letting her scorching warmth seep into my cold forehead.  
  
“Thank you, Bella.” I said in a whisper.  
  
She hugged me closer to her, in exactly the way that made me feel safe and protected. I wanted to believe her so desperately that I allowed myself to bask her in acceptance, even if I could not believe that any sort of God would allow me to maintain my soul.  
  
“Edward, I know you don’t believe me yet, but I will convince you eventually. You know how stubborn I am.”  
  
She placed both her hands on the palms of my cheeks and guided my face up to meet hers. She didn’t even have one millionths of the strength that it would take to move my head, but I allowed myself to be maneuvered. I enjoyed the power she held over me, even if it was not physical. She looked me right in the eyes and grinned.  
  
“I’ll even pull out a Bible to make this argument if I have to! I’ll do it Edward!”  
  
I chuckled at this, even though I knew she was only half joking. She knew from Carlisle that part of my self-loathing stemmed from a concern about my soul. I appreciated how she made the statement into a joke, lightening the conversation like I did when things became too dark or serious.  
  
I just grinned at her in pure gratitude and her face radiated warmth in response, her smile stretching across her lovely broad face.  
  
“Let’s finish the episode! I love the dinner scene– it always cracks me up!” Bella said, saving the continuation of this serious discussion for another day. She removed her hand from me and held her arms out, welcoming me back into her embrace. I eagerly laid back down against her, allowing myself to once again drift on the balmy breeze that was Bella Swan's radiant protection.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made the one-shot a two-shot! I couldn't help myself. I hope you enjoy and let me know if you want more. This takes place after Breaking Dawn but still within a year of Bella being changed.

I breathed in the cold mountain air and released a stream of laughter as I launched into a snowbank. I watched as Bella’s form flew across the darkness and landed next to me. She was still graceful and elegant even when waist deep in snow. She grinned at me and laughed too. We had completely satisfied our thirst with a pack of moose, but we were preserving the exhilaration of hunting by chasing each other around the mountain. Under the cover of darkness, we had raced each other up higher and higher peaks, the moonlight making the snow take on an ethereal glow.

She looked radiant in a green waterproof hiker’s jacket with her hair braided down her back. We looked the part of human hikers, except for our lack of equipment. We had left our backpacks in our cabin at sunset, knowing that humans would not see us in the darkness. Suddenly, Bella was swinging an armful of snow in my face and I was too slow to intercept it. I could hear her laugh and then start to run down the peak. I cleared myself of snow and lobbed an armful of snow at her retreating figure. She nimbly summersaulted to the left, the snow careening past her completely as she giggled. I sprinted down the mountain to catch up with her.

“I haven’t lost a snowball fight in a century.” I said to her, grinning.

She looked back, still several meters in front of me, though I was gaining ground. “That’s because you can’t cheat and read my mind.” She bent down and sent another armful of snow my way but this time I was able to dodge it. We laughed again together and practically flew down the mountain. I had almost caught up to her when we came to a cliff. Bella leaped without hesitation and dove into the ocean. In the past few months I had finally begun to internalize the fact that Bella was now indestructible. The instinct to physically protect human Bella had waned and the habitual fear was mostly gone now. I had stopped seeing her as fragile. She was so graceful in this new form, it absolved me of much of the guilt surrounding changing her. Not that I minded her clumsiness as a human, I found it endearing when it wasn’t dangerous, but to see her so comfortable in her own body was glorious.

I leaped into the ocean after her and she quickly found me in the dark waters. She had wrapped her warm body around mine and fervently kissed a path down my neck.

“Why don’t we head back to the cabin?” I suggested quickly. Our family had gifted us a stay at an isolated little cabin nestled between spruce trees and snow at the base of the mountain. This weekend to explore the Kluane National Park in Canada alone commemorated our one-year anniversary.

Bella’s bronze eyes turned to look at me intensely, the lingering red a reminder of her youth. With all of her newborn strength she pulled me to her chest, swam to the cliff, and started to climb, completely focused on her destination.

“You know, I can climb myself” I chuckled at her newborn mentality, enjoying that she was actually acting her age for once. She stopped and put me down, looking somewhat embarrassed. I am sure she would be blushing if that were still possible. I kissed her again to distract her, not wanting her to dwell on any embarrassment and wanting to reawaken the one-track ferocity that she had been displaying moments before. I was not disappointed when her eyes again lit with hunger and she gripped my hand and flung us in the direction of the cabin.

We slowed down at the front door but instead of stopping completely, Bella just launched into the door, knocking it down. I was too far gone, too overcome with need, to care much about the door. I kissed her again and she threw me against the ground, climbing on top of me. I responded eagerly and wrapped my hands around her waist, relishing that I no longer needed to hold back. She held me tightly, so tightly that it started to hurt, but I didn’t want her to stop. The bliss was so overpowering that a bit of pain from her overzealous newborn strength was nothing. If anything, her physical strength pleased me as a reminder of her durability. The pain was nothing until she went to pull me closer to her. Before I could recognize what was happening, I heard a horrible screeching sound, like metal being wrenched apart, and felt my arm rip from my shoulder. The intense pain was so unexpected that I could not stop my own short shocked cry. I was confused for a fraction of a second until I looked and saw my arm hanging limply at my side, the tear in my shirt displaying a deep crack forming along the edge of my torso. At the sound of my cry Bella has launched herself across the room shattering the living room table. She was crouched in a protective position, still wild with the exhilaration of the day and confused by what had just occurred.

I snapped my arm back into place, my body making that ugly screeching sound as the rip in my shoulder healed and my arm reconnected correctly to my torso. I tried not to wince as I stretched out my hand and rotated my arm, allowing sensation to once again flood into my limb. Bella remained still as a statue, with the remains of the shattered table littered around her and beneath her feet. She was breathing heavily, her eyes wild and full of confusion.

“Bella, love, I’m fine. Everything is fine. Please come back here.” I said gently. I waited a few moments, hoping that she would recognize that I was unharmed and come back to me. ~~~~

After a few minutes she had still not calmed her defensive posture. The exhilarated state brought on by hunting was particularly powerful in newborns. I had been so irresponsible to keep us in that condition all day, never giving Bella time to calm down. My cry of pain had triggered a defensive reaction and she was having trouble coming out of her agitated state. I slowly rose from the floor and moved towards her slowly, not wanting to startle her. I held my hands out as I approached her. She remained in her protective crouch. Slowly, the confusion drained from her eyes and was replaced by horror.

“I ripped your arm off.” She croaked, her voice heavy with shame, taking in quick alarmed breaths.

I quickly spoke to assure her. “You only dislocated it a little. And it’s all better now, look!” I held out my arm for her to examine. She lifted her graceful hands and ran them over my shoulder, so lightly that I could barely feel her touch. She looked thoughtful and then the pain returned to her face. I continued “It was my fault. I should have slowed you down. Sometimes I forget that you even are a newborn, you have such unheard-of restraint.”

“You were in pain. I hurt you.” She said softly and then sank to the ground. “I’m supposed to protect you. I’m so sorry.”

“It was a mistake, love. There is nothing to forgive. It will still be a few more months before the newborn strength wears off. Then you won’t have to hold back.” I smirked, briefly being filled with excited anticipation for the time when we would finally be equals in strength. It had been an immeasurable relief that I no longer had to hold back or fear hurting Bella and I’m sure the same would be true for her.

This thought did nothing to calm her and she continued to breath rapidly, in a defensive state even as she sat on the floor.

I sat with her quietly among the wreckage of the table, trying to think of a way to comfort her. I wanted to reach out and touch her, but I was worried it would only worsen her anxiety. I hummed her lullaby softly, hoping to comfort her without touch. Slowly her breathing began to return to normal.

We sat for a while longer and I reflected on the moment. I could not help but chuckle when I recognized the irony of our situation. My little laugh brought Bella partially out of her daze and she looked over at me in confusion.

“I was just thinking about how ironic this is. We are having the same conversation we had after our wedding night, except now I am the one trying to assure you that I’m fine.”

This actually seemed to bring some relief to Bella’s features as she remembered how she felt when I was so much stronger than her. In a way, I now understood her nonchalant acceptance of her bruises during that time. I too was now completely unconcerned about my arm, only wanting to be as close to Bella as possible. I had even joyfully welcomed the pain of her too-tight hugs, relishing this obvious sign of her durability. She still seemed to be struggling with something.

“What are you thinking?” I asked, probably for the millionth time, a question I would only ever ask her. She looked at me again, still not yet calm, and seemed to struggle to form the words. I would have had to wait for her to articulate her thoughts in the past but now there was another route of communication.

“Show me?” I asked.

Bella nodded, agreeing that showing me her thoughts might be easier at the moment than expressing them in words. She had calmed enough to lift her shield away from herself for a few moments.

I could feel her despair, not nearly as miserable as mine had been when I injured her, but still intense. She was thinking about how she should be protecting me, not hurting me, and wondering how I could trust her physically after this.

“I trust you completely.” She seemed to hear me but struggled to believe it. I needed to prove it to her.

I reached out to touch her wrist and her shield snapped back into place as her breathing hitched. She appeared to be afraid of hurting me again. I needed to remedy that fear immediately. I needed her to understand that this small accident was nothing compared to the comfort of her love and acceptance.

I reached out to her other wrist and slowly pulled her arms apart. I then shifted and laid myself against her torso, closing her arms around me once I had fitted myself against her.

“This is where I feel most safe and protected. I trust you more than anyone.”

She looked down at me, her stunning face filled with remorse. “But I just hurt you. How can you trust me to hold you now? When I was human there was no way I could hurt you. You even said that my humanity made you feel protected.”

“I was wrong, it wasn’t your humanity, it was you. I don’t care if you are a breakable human or an unrestrained newborn. You always make me feel safe.”

She softly tightened her arms around me, and my chest filled with warmth, my mind becoming somewhat fuzzy in contentment. She lightly kissed my forehead, reciprocating my often-used gesture. We sat there silently for some time. I knew she didn’t feel totally satisfied with my explanation, and though I was drifting in the bliss that always overtook me when she held me gently, I was troubled that she might still be upset.

“Bella, your strength is beautiful. I am in awe of your power and nothing you could do will change that. A part of me will miss it when you are no longer so much more powerful than me, when your physical power no longer matches your emotional power over me. I like that you can overpower me. There is no one I’d rather surrender to.”

She thoughtfully ran her fingers through my hair, and I felt again like I was drifting. She was so gentle with me, even though her new physical form thrummed with raw power. Experiencing both her strength and her gentleness left me in awe. I used to think that the vampire strength was just another sign that we were unnatural grotesque predators. Bella had shown me a completely different perspective. When I felt her strength, I knew it was good and pure. When she chose to treat me tenderly, I was redeemed. I felt her soul and it allowed me to believe that I had one too.


End file.
